Some of you may have stumbled across my original post a while ago (for those of you that haven’t, check it out here!) and I thought it was high time I furthered the list of convos that we are oh so tired of enduring; and those bloody awful questions we are fed up of answering.
And yes, some of our inner monologue responses may seem a little on the passive aggressive side, but with a tentative career like this, who can blame us for getting a little defensive? Having to answer these questions is like having to voice (and therefore face) our inner fears that we do a very good job of ignoring the rest of the time!
So, here we go….
‘Have you been in anything I might have seen?’ * produces CV from pocket * At this point in the conversation, you just know they’re hoping you’ll tell them you’re the person twerking in back left corner of Justin Beiber’s ‘Sorry’ video. Unfortunately, 95% of us can’t give them the satisfactory answer they oh so crave, and suddenly you feel bad for letting them down with a disappointing answer.
‘What are you going to do afterwards?’ Oh what, when I’m too old to dance you mean? Who are you? My mother??? Stop asking me difficult questions I don’t know the answer to.
‘Have you thought about auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent?’ Um… do I have to dignify that with an answer?
Sometimes, it’s like people don’t really think when they ask us questions. Take this one for example:
‘I have a friend called (insert name here), she’s a dancer too… do you know her?’ – they then proceed to tell you she’s of average height, has blonde hair and blue eyes and you’re like, yes; totally distinguishable from the 400 other blonde haired, blue eyed dancers I see at open auditions…
This one kills me inside a little bit… ‘What else do you do?’ As in, for money. To survive. Because now even muggles realise that dancers and actors spend the majority of their time in a job they hate just to get by. * Sobs quietly into unused degree certificate *
The following comment is normally one that comes from your non-stagey friends ‘Do you ever even work? You look like you live on holiday!’ ahh the life of a resting actor. As they sit at their desk on a Monday afternoon, bored to tears, scrolling through their Facebook newsfeed, they occasionally see us doing things like going for brunch on a Monday afternoon or having the occasional midweek cocktail evening (all things that we pretend we have the money for when we really don’t lol). But what they don’t think about, is that while they’re getting trashed at the weekend, we are normally the one’s behind the bar serving them. Or while they are wallowing in a hangover and doing absolutely nothing on a Saturday having a well deserved day off, we are busying ourselves with finding productive activities – else we suffer from what I like to call the guilt complex (click here for my blog post on that terrible thing we performers suffer from and how to banish it!)
However, even us performers can be massive hypocrites. We all know we hate these convos, but we even bore each other with this one question…
‘Where did you train?’ pfff. When this is asked, no matter what answer you give, you know you’re immediately being judged. With one word they will suddenly think they know everything about you, purely based on where you trained. (“so you’re a Laine’s boy are you?”/ “right, can you DANG it though?”/ “ ah, right, Studios…”/ “Um, where is Sidcup again…?”)
But, even though these conversations might kill us a bit inside, our many years of training as taught us how to flip our hair back, smile beautifully and respond in a pleasant, confident fashion.
And if you have anything to add or any suggestions feel free to contact me!