Thoughts We All Have During Yoga

Yoga. The perfect ‘you’ time. As soon as you are on that mat, you can cleanse yourself of any negative thoughts, focus on your practice and breathing, and leave feeling elevated and at peace.

Well – that’s how it should be anyway. In reality, the entire class is spent with a million and one busy thoughts zooming through our heads and they are mostly something pretty similar to this…

  1. Where the hell do I put my mat. I’m going to have to actually TALK to someone and ask them to move.
  2. I hope the teacher is running late.
  3. Nope not late. Okay – here we go.
  4. ‘OHHHHHMMMMM’ Why are we all saying ohm?
  5. Downward dog – okay I know that move, I can do that. No problem.
  6. I’m so old – I can’t even touch my toes anymore.           yoga-4
  7. Wow – I really need to paint my toenails.
  8. Bleurgh, I should not have downed my coffee before this class. I can hear it sloshing around inside my tummy.
  9. Well – you made it here and that’s all that matters.
  10. The teacher said to take is as hard or as easy as we like, cause it’s our own practice. And I worked so hard this week so, I’m just gonna skip this move and head straight on in to child’s pose…
  11. I’m hungry
  12. What shall I have for dinner?
  13. Okay I’m actually starting to sweat a bit. This is more movement than I thought it would be.
  14. Ooooh her yoga pants are really nice. I wonder where they are from?
  15. It was totally worth spending £80 on my yoga pants from Lulu Lemon. At least I’m finally wearing them to yoga, not just for house lounging.
  16. At least they aren’t see-through like that ladies. I can see her purple thong.
  17. Oops, forgot to breathe.
  18. It’s only been 20 minutes?
  19. How did I even get in to this position? I bet I look super attractive right now.yoga-2
  20. I definitely deserve a treat after this class – it’s harder than I thought it would be.
  21. I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to be doing right now, so I’m just gonna copy that girl.
  22. She looks very zen and relaxed. I don’t feel like that. I think I’m doing it wrong.
  23. DO NOT FART.
  24. How am I meant to hold positions if my hands keep slipping on the mat. Better just go to child’s pose.
  25. That guy is sweating ALOT.
  26. I am never going to be able to balance on my hands like that. May as well just give up now.                              yoga-1
  27. Is it time for corpse pose yet?
  28. OW OW OW, CRAMP CRAMP CRAMP CRAMP. MAYDAY MAYDAY!
  29. I wonder if he text me back? I should bloody hope so – it will have been an hour.
  30. Must remember to email work about that assignment.
  31. Is this supposed to hurt like this?! Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.
  32. There’s a high possibility that when I come out of this move I am going to fanny fart, and there is no way I’ll be able to stop it.
  33. *fakes coughing fit to cover up fanny fart* – defs got away with that.
  34. YAY time for corpse pose!
  35. *thinkofnothing, thinkofnothing, thinkofnothing*
  36. But now I’m thinking about trying to think of nothing.
  37. Now I’m thinking about cake again. Yums.
  38. My tummy is rumbling and everyone is trying to nap. How embarrassing. At least they don’t know it was me.
  39. ‘Namaste!’ What does that even mean?
  40. That was actually super relaxing. I feel great and energised and really zen now. Can’t wait to boast on insta, FB, Twitter and Snapchat about my evening yoga class.screen-shot-2016-11-05-at-16-09-47

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