Boyfriends Make You Fat.

I can’t be the only girl that thinks this?? I swear that this is the case with most couples. The only exception being gym couples (mine and Mitch’s mantra is more like ‘couples that snack together, stay together’).

The trouble with boys, is they can pretty much eat anything they want without piling on the pounds. Mitch being the epitome of this, can eat total crap, and lots of it. He doesn’t have an inch of fat on him! And little old me, well, it’s a totally different story. He has a whole foot of height on me, that’s an entire foot of EXTRA calories that he can eat. It’s just not fair.

Most of our ‘couple’ activities revolve around food:

Dat Blog 2

Indulging on tapas and sangria in Barcelona. We definitely always overshoot when it comes to ordering food…

– Going out to dinner
– Having take away
– Baking
– Making dinners
– Going to the cinema (with snacks)
– A movie night in (with snacks)
– Tasting local delicacies when travelling & trying out all those cool unusual food places in London.
You get the picture.

 

Mitch is a total snack fiend. He lives for snacks. And I don’t mean the occasional bit of chocolate every now and then. I’m talking like, family size chocolate bars and crisps. Everyday.

This is what our texts look like:

Dat Blog 4

I can’t blame him entirely for the little extra winter weight that has accumulated this year. There’s the inner fat bitch inside me that is just waiting to get out – and he is the perfect excuse. Food is very important to me – my stomach is often the forefront of my brain, but when I’m by myself I manage to turn on the self control just a little bit. However, as soon as all that food that he’s bought is in front of me? Well, WHAT self control?

Sometimes, on the rare occasion he doesn’t want snacks I actually get annoyed at him. He tells me I can get them if I want, I don’t have to just eat when he does but I don’t, because that means I can’t use him as the excuse.

He turns to me one day while I was having a huge melt down, tugging on my jeans, and says ‘Firstly Dais, you are not fat,’ (Massive boyfriend brownie points there. SEE, everything relates back to food?!) ‘Secondly, you don’t have to eat like me. You can eat healthily if you like.’
I tut and roll my eyes in response. ‘What you don’t understand Mitch,’ I respond ‘Is that you eat all the food that I want to eat! SO, as much as I’d love to say nah, I’m good, of course I’m going to eat it.

Dat Blog 3

We saw these bubble waffles on Insta and just HAD to try them.

What annoys me even more is that he is able to have a couple of squares of chocolate and then just leave the rest of it sitting there, unloved. I’m like, HELLO?! There’s SO much chocolate left over? It MUST be eaten immediately. But he sits there, content with his couple of bites while I scoff the rest of it. My logic is that if I eat it all today, there won’t be anything to eat tomorrow. But what actually happens is he just buys another one – and repeat.

It also doesn’t help that sometimes, I’m just chilling, minding my own business, not thinking about food (lol yeah right) and he comes up behind me and whispers ever so devilishly in my ear ‘cheeseburgers…’ We normally then end up getting two each.

We tried to be healthy once. But his version of healthy is anything that’s cooked at home, not take out. So we cook things like pasta bake, stir frys and nachos, with portions so huge I feel like I’m about to explode. He also agreed that he would try and stop snacking for me, and that we were only allowed chocolate at the weekends. Well, that lasted about 1 day. Mostly because I was grumpy and he knew that was going to be the only way to cheer me up.

Also, I stop exercising. I justify this though. We do long distance so when he’s home would I rather A) Get up early and spend a couple of hours sweating it out in the gym or B) Stay in bed snoozing with cuddles. Bit of a no brainer really?

The plus to the long distance is that I can at least do a bit of damage control when he’s away. I work at night so in the day I’ve got nothing else to do other than go to class!

But the truth of it is, although I moan, I’m happier than I ever was when I was single and somewhat slimmer. I really do think food is a big bonding point. Besides, he’s promised to love me no matter what I look like – and I’ll hold him to that.

  1. Alexx's Keto Avenue December 1, 2017 at 2:35 pm

    Inner fat bitch that’s fantastic! great post! I enjoyed this a lot

    Like

    Reply

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